HWAITING!q^^p

sigh.

2012-01-27T00:19:00.001+08:00

it's assignments' deadlines rush again!!

SIAN.

i'm like doing this and that but nothing's accomplished yet!

feeling a little sad cause i don't know why but i realise that my hard work doesn't reflect in my grades at all.

not the first time i think.

this time i hope i'll get better grades yepp.

the most heavy and intensive term ever!!

HOPE I CAN COMPLETE EVERYTHING ON TIME VERY NICELY!!

hahahahaha~~^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

I always get reminded.

2012-01-23T23:57:00.001+08:00

It's really irritating when i answer someone's question and the other party reprimands me for not answering. I'm like, seriously!?!?
Please lahhh, if you don't like me don't bother asking me at all in the first place. Always end up dampening my spirits. Don't always assume that you're the only one with a bad mood okay!! I'm honestly tired of accusations and unjustified displays of favouritism. I don't know why you make an effort to even pretend. Just simply ignore me just like you always did. I'm invisible, but at least i still feel that i have a positively healthy self-image. Your attacks and glares damages my mood and self-confidence every time. I simply wish for things to be normal, even if they do not resume to what they used to be.
Please open up your ears and eyes, and see the world clearly and unbiasedly.
I'm really tired already. Really.
Ang Baos are supposed to be something to be excited and happy about. Especially CNY.
Why must this happen to me at this time!?
WHYYYYY!?!?!?!?!!!?!!????!

Contradiction.

2012-01-20T19:28:00.001+08:00

Gave me money to buy things. Okay, thanks so much!
After i bought the things, you start screaming and making noise saying i bought SUPER EXPENSIVE stuffs.
So what? Don't give me that money in the first place.
Yahh yahh yahh. I splurged, i spent, i wasted money.
Continue insulting me if it makes you happy.
I know i'm not important. I'll never be too. Thanks for the effort anyway, i know you tried.
-_-

attitude?

2012-01-17T23:22:00.002+08:00

aha, showing me attitude.

if you don't like me, just ignore me.

why shout at me?

it doesn't make things any better okay!

got my Child Psychology paper back today!

can only say that it's a worthy piece of shit.

I PASSED!

40/60.

okay lorr, at least i didn't fail!

i'm starting to struggle with assignments.

i hope can manage my time effectively.

seriously.

wish me luck!!

HWAITING, WOOO SAAAAAAAA!! (what's with the sudden inference to Big Nose Hyung?? hahahhahahahahahaha!!^^)

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

gonna get drowned up till my head!!

2012-01-16T22:51:00.001+08:00

the pressure of assignments!!

ARRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

SO MANY THINGS TO DO!

i don't know why but i get tired so easily! is this the effects of eating the flu medicine??

maybe....

anyways my mum's still not talking to me. oho. what to do?

i guess i'll always be the incompetent, hated, second child.

just too bad.

who told me to be born the second child?

oh well.

life's more than just being angry at another person.

even though it doesn't feel good but i guess i've learnt.

now what i have to consider real careful and deep is MY OWN PICTURE STORYBOOK!!

sooooooooo many things to do!!

HWAITING, KYL!!!!!!!

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

Why is it always me??

2012-01-15T09:53:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, or maybe, most of the time, i just don't get it.
I mean, am i just a stupid and dumb (these 2 words mean the same isn't it??-_-) rag doll thing or what?
Why can't i be treated like more fairly?
I know that life has its ups and downs but it's just too overwhelming for me. Just when i thought i've already gotten used to all of it. *sigh*
i think everyone can just stop pretending and just don't bother at all.
I don't like it when the tables get turned over so suddenly and abruptly ( words with same meanings again!?).
Think i just have to calm down and relax just like how i always do.
Storm and stress is always hereeeee!!
Keep an open mind and everything will get better. I have to and want to believe in that. I really do.
Huuuuuu.
Gotta really start to complete my assignments yahhh!!
Panicky doesn't fit me even though it ALWAYS HAPPENS!!
This is life yeahhh!

HAPPY BUT UNLUCKY!!

2012-01-09T22:04:00.001+08:00

got my CIP test paper back todayyy!

all i can say is I'M SUPER RELIEVED AND SURPRISED!

how the hell did i get 52.5 out of 60!!??

WAHHHHHHHH!!! first time in Poly history that i achieved such a high score!!

WAS TOTALLY IN SHOCK!!

couldn't contain my excitement!!

PHEW!

i thought i'd do badly.

cause i really suck in written tests!

i guess i hit the jackpot!!

soon after that unluckiness followed me around!!

went to the printing shop to print assignments.

after printing i realised i didn't bring my purse!!

GAHHHHHHHHHHH!!

then on double-checking i realised the orientation of my printed text were ALL WRONG!!

made an emergency edit on the documents right at the printing shop!

was sweating so profusely cause i was really panicky!!

i'm super happy that i finally submitted everythinggggg!!

after doing it for like a week everydayyy!

HURRAYS!

hope that 2012 will continue to be so happy and fun!!

hehehehehe~~^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

kpop in 2011.

2011-12-31T23:28:00.001+08:00

one word:

OVERCROWDED.

what's the deal with SO MANY NEW GROUPS DEBUTING!?

i really hate it, but it seems that the general kpop public doesn't seem to mind at all.

there are some really good groups, but what i want to say is,

they are not of the same level as past kpop groups.

the gap is too huge.

when they can sing, they don't have looks.

when they have looks, they can't sing.-_-

so can we say that heaven is fair??

i just hope that the situation won't keep going on like this.

because i can foresee it bursting and exploding one day.

and then the situation will get very tricky.

wish kpop luck.

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

New Year Resolution for 2012!!

2011-12-31T23:05:00.002+08:00

Oh wow, about another hour till the first second of year 2012!

Feels so unrealistic!!
Took a look at my resolution i made for 2011, and am going to access it yeahh!
Very certain i didn't accomplish many things!
Oh well, life goes on, the Earth continues to spin!

Here's 2011's list:

i'm kept it real short. i was shocked!

i want to meet TVXQ!(ALL FIVE YEPP!) (FINALLY GOT TO MEET HOMIN!! OHMOMO, WAS A TOTAL DREAM COME TRUE!!)

i want CSJH The Grace to release their new album (DANA & SUNDAY came back together with a new single, as least half was fulfilled..)

i want to have a smaller butt and flatter tummy (MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!!)

i want and need to be on task! (WORST, WORST, WORST, that i cringe whenever i think about it!!)

i want to save a lot a lot of money! (REALLY OFF-TASK AHH!)

i want to go for family holiday! (this year out again!)

most wishes were unfulfilled.

oh well.

this year i'll keep my resolutions simple too!

1) Get a satisfactory reply from SMRT. i need to finish off my damaged laptop business!!

2) TVXQ! to return together as 5 + CSJH The Grace to return together as 4

3) Meet all idols!

4) Become a better student and finish tasks before deadlines.

5) Become a better person as a whole. To become a better and more supportive daughter, sister, friend and classmate.

6) Be able to buy whatever i want to buy and still have extra money!

7) Start to learn driving?

8) WORLD PEACE!! (no more wars, bombs, or natural disasters!!)

9) Have a healthier body and less oily face and more fringe!!

10) To be able to love myself, love others, and have others to love themselves, and to love me too.

END.

haha, hopefully 2012 will go on even more smoothly and fruitful!!

really hope that all things will end blissfully!!

here's to a new start in 2012!

CHEERS!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

\^^/

Too much crap this week!!

2011-12-17T14:31:00.001+08:00

Huuuuu, so relieved to have ended my term tests this week!! Exams for consecutive 3 days yahhh!! Super stressed up and out of sorts. Exams were crappy, my mood was crappy, but i'm so glad i got over it!

And then on Wednesday, went down to Orchard with Poly classmates. Main aim was actually to see the Abercrombie and Fitch guys yahhh!!
Hahahaha, it was real funny cause when we were walking over we could already see a huge crowd around the building!! Wahhh, a full row of semi-nude guys posing yeahhh!! But i didn't get why people even dared to ask for 'special' requests like piggyback or kisses. Oh well, non of my concerns anyway! But i did snap many pics yepp!! Was initially afraid of snapping solo shots with the guys yeahhh. It was plain strange ahh, taking pictures with people you barely know, even though they were friendly, but they're semi-nudeeeee!!!!@-@
However, i did get get 3-4 solo shots in the end. Talk about shyness ahh!!-_-
The models were yawning randomly so it was quite sad to see that sight happen...
There was this Singaporean Malay guy who was maintaining the crowd who unexpectedly, switched his accent from ang moh to Singlish!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!! It was totally hilarious yeahhhh!!^^ so i snapped a pic with him too cause it was too funny to miss out!! Kekekeke!!^^
I particularly liked this 'brunette' guy who has a great smile. Referred to him as the cute one cause his smile was simply dazzling!! Hahaha!!
After reading through articles i can only say i'm shocked by the store's products pricing!! Don't think i'd dare to step into the shop at all!!
The whole experience was quite funny, minus my sweaty face and hair!! ARGGHHHHH!! It was hilarious cause we started coming up with nicknames for the guys!! I propose that they put name tags on the guys in future!! It'll be so much more friendly in terms of atmosphere!!
And so our name list consists roughly of:
Mr Vampire
The cute one
Mr British
Mr Fake Smile/ Ronald Macdonald
The Israel guy
Mr Manager
The 'back off back off back it up back it up' guy
Mr Ken Doll
Mr Japanese
Mr Ripples
The TPJC guy

It was also after i returned home and started browsing through my pics that i realised i snapped a total of 70 shots!! Really WOW for me!! Hehehe! It was also the first time i realised that my height's really short!! I can like only reach up till the models' shoulders!! Didn't realise it when i was standing beside them though!! Oh well~~

Have been camping at home for about 2 days already!! Planning to start school work next week officially!! Want to go shopping but simply have no money!! How i wish i have a simple job where i can earn some extras!! *sigh*

Staying at home is not totally fun because there are always unexpected fights and arguments yeahh..
Really strange isn't it??
Going out too much starts fights, staying at home too much has similar effects too....
I guess this is life! Gotta relax and keep an open mind!!
Life will get better!!^^

4th December 2011, a day to remember.

2011-12-05T00:22:00.001+08:00

It's all worthwhile. All the wait, anxiety and nervousness. Seeing them was a dream come true. A totally memorable and enjoyable experience. Words alone cannot describe my love and adoration towards them. Proud to be a Cassiopeian, forever. Hope to see the boys again, together as five, standing on one stage. You all make everything worth the effort. ^^

Frustration!!

2011-12-03T15:21:00.001+08:00

I'm like sian lahhh!! Totally ahh. Dampen my spirits. Not going to do it again. Studying, revising and doing school work is so much better. Less of the self instilled guilt. So much for family time, when i'm treated like some nobody. Yeppp. Prioritise!!

Oh well.-_-

2011-11-25T20:09:00.001+08:00

Ermmm,this is so infuriating.
TVXQ!'s fanmeet is releasing Arena tix again.i'm like SIANNNNN.
Oh well,what can i do?at least i've purchased my entry tix.

And talking about home,i guess i'll NEVER be the first priority.
It seems that i'm always too easily and conveniently forgotten.
I guess it's my own fault.i can only say from experience that being the second child in four kids sucks at times.especially when your preferences and likes differ so much from others.
So yepp,going to live with it,can't really do anything about it isn't it?
It's not that i like to be calculating.but sometimes this feeling is so overwhelming.
Hmmmm,keep an open mind and everything will be fine i guess.
Life goes on,the Earth continues spinning and the Sun's still shining.hope this weekend will be fruitful and productive!!^^

Sian lahhhhhhhh!!

2011-11-24T10:13:00.001+08:00

GAHHHHHHH!just when i thought my luck was turning better,this bombshell had to be dropped on meeeeee!!!seriously,how unlucky can a person get!!??i think i'm the ultimate loser of the century!!!
My VAIO just fell and tumbled onto the stairway on the bus last night!!
I was totally in shock okay!!and so all my stored info and data in the com has become invalid cause my VAIO is just unwilling to start up.
I knew it would leave me,but i totally didn't expect the death of it to come so soon!!
I've deadlines and assignments coming up and i don't know how i'm going to get a com to complete all my research and work!
Life sucks from time to time but this had got to be the must unexpected curveball i had ever had!!
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Lastly,i've got to confess that i have totally NO CASH to buy a new com.
So how??i think i've got A LOT of work to do!!-_-

procrastination.

2011-11-15T21:28:00.002+08:00

ohmomomo.

this bad case is coming again!!

I'M PROCRASTINATING AGAIN!

no mood and no energy.

GAHHHHHHHHHHH..

gotta start work soon!!

this sem there are so many things to do!!

gonna faint from all the stress soon.

I NEED A CHILD!

but no one has one to lend me.

T^T

I NEED HELP!!

or not i think i'll fail my assessment,then my module.

why do assignments always drive me to the brink of dieing!!??

oh well,i guess that's what school is for.

to push you to your limits and make you go crazy!!

SIAN!

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

seriously?

2011-11-15T21:25:00.002+08:00

i'm really irritated and annoyed.

always ordering me around.

it's not as if i didn't complete the task the last time.(i even did it twice!!)

so why force me again?

just feeling moody again.

SIAN.

doesn't mean because you're older then you can anyhow order me around.

i'm already so busy with school and everything.

don't ALWAYS expect me to do all these lahhh.

i have a life too.

i don't exist so that you can order me around okay!!

i'm really puzzled.

when you always like to say i'm dumb and stupid.

then you do things yourself lahhh!

why always expect me to do.

okay,gotta calm down...

PHEW...

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

SCHOOL TOMORROW!!

2011-10-23T22:14:00.000+08:00

and i'm totally hating it.

this is the first time i hate school so much!

and i don't know what's the exact reason i'm feeling this way!!

GAHHHHHHHH!!

need to play my schedule blah blah all very carefully!!

VERY SCARED SOMETHING WILL GO WRONG!!

RELAX AHHH!!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

hope things will go well and everything and everyday will be fun!!

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

oh my gosh.

2011-10-20T22:14:00.000+08:00

ehhh,i was contemplating the possibility of me having some POST-PMS syndromes...(since my period ended a few days ago...)

and it seems that i'm SPOT ON!

oh wow!!

totally didn't expect it.

but i'm relieved.

or not i'd be thinking i have some mental illness.

was feeling sad and depressed just now.

and i couldn't name why...

WHY THE SUDDEN MOODINESS!!??

was already on the brink of tears ahhh....

so i Googled and checked if it was possible to feel depression and moodiness after periods.

and it seems that the answer's YES!

of course i did carefully countercheck against a few sites to check for validity yeahh!

feeling better now since i know the cause of my moodiness.

oh well,this is the life of an 18 year old teenager.

SCHOOL'S REOPENING ON MONDAY!

very distraught.

this is actually the first time i hate school so much!?

and i got Sociology for CDS.

hope i'll do well.

afraid i can't do well in exams!

i'm convinced that hands-on are my saviours.

shall see how things go.

a step at a time will do.

hehe,gonna enjoy my remaining few days of holiday for good!!

hohohohoho!

Science Centre and Snow City on Saturday!

hahahaha!!so long since i last went there!!

hope the weather will be fine and the day will be fun!!

happy to spend time with besties!

LOVE YOU ALL!!^^

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

LAST WEEK OF HOLIDAYS!!

2011-10-18T22:08:00.003+08:00

okay,NOW i'm getting panicky!!

gotta plan my finances real carefully!!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

hmmm....got like only about 5 days left till i return to school...

i kind of dread it.

holiday's so relaxing and oh-so-wonderful~~

GAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

having poly-clique meeting tomorrow...

not very keen cause it's so late!

but what to do?it's so difficult for everyone to meet up due to various commitments~

just hope the gathering won't drag till too late!or it'll be quite difficult for me to return home before curfew...

ehhh,also wondering if i should stock up on my yarn!

cause i went down to Daiso Simei last week and it was quite disastrous cause there was such an unbelievably SMALL collection of yarns there.

*sigh*

was utterly disappointed.

oh well,the area's so small conpared to other Daiso stores too!

at least i was able to complete my white mini Totoro!!*PHEW*

i wanna make a big one and when i complete it,i wanna start working on mini Totoros again so i can give them to my besties as a kind of lucky charm-i love you-you're my bestie-let's not forget each other-always your friend-this is a little something for you mini present!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!i'm giving it such a long name!!!!

oh well,wait till i get my resources yeahh!!

AND MONEY!!

have to plan it real carefully!!

the sad life of a teenager turned adult starts now!!

hahahahahaha!!

i realise i'm ALWAYS finding humour here and there throughout life.

guess that's one of the perks being a happy-go-lucky kind of girl!

but then now i'm starting to worry about school.

TIMETABLE!!i hope i get Japanese!!!PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!

begging away ahhhh!!>_<

think language is kind of something i can cope better with!!

out of the 6 choices Japanese was the only one i genuinely wanted and favoured!

the rest were made on impulse and intuition cause i really had no idea what to choose.

GAHHH!!

talk about speed harr!!(i was camping at the lappie half an hour before the system opened..)

-________-

oh yahh!i still have another selective module!!think i'll get into it real easy,so not really worried about that!!

until now my results are still 'okay',and i really mean it!!

seriously need to buck up and push myself harder!!

but then again i don't strive for wonderful results!!

as usual, my mentality is, if i've done my best then there's nothing to worry about!!

hehehe,ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST yeahhh~~

hehehehe~~

i'm still panicky about the HoMin fanmeet/fan party thingy though!

I WANT TO ATTEND IT SO BADLY!!

someone help me!!

just hope that the event doesn't not clash with anything hopefully!!

really keeping my fingers crossed!!

hope this last week of holiday will be fun!

and that school will be fun too!!

HOPE FOR THE BEST FOR EVERYTHING AHH~~

P.S.i'm starting to get stressed unconsciously.this is real bad!!RELAX!!!!!!!>_<

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

MONEY MATTERS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!

2011-10-11T23:11:00.002+08:00

seriously!!

been having some money problems for so long!!

I WANT TO SETTLE ALL THESE NONSENSE!!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

okay,calm down and see how it goes.

at least i settled one already.

ARGGGHHHHHH!!

>_<

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

so is this a sign?

2011-10-09T23:17:00.003+08:00

don't know why,

really feel like they're becoming FIVE again.

can feel that they really miss each other and all that.

listening to SEOULFM's TVXQ!/TOHOSHINKI/JYJ Marathon!!

GONNA BURST INTO TEARS.

was posting a comment on the FB page about how TVXQ! changed my life.

was on the verge of crying liaooo..

so here's how TVXQ! changed my life:

YES YES YES.they were the first ever group i ever truly loved and supported.
i'll love them forever and ever and i hope i'll get to see all FIVE together again.
they're the inspiration in my life.
they're super talented and sometimes i cannot fully understand and believe why such perfect human beings exist on Earth.
all because they are all-rounders who are good-looking,talented, and have really good personalities.
they also taught me that life's not only about me,myself and i,but rather,we exist so we can bring light into others' lives.
THEY ARE MY ROLE MODELS.
this may sound mushy but i love them to bits and pieces,and the best time was when they were FIVE together.
so yeahh,hope i'll get to meet them in person and hear them LIVE in concert in the near future.
lastly,
ALWAYS BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF FIVE!!
TVXQ! JUNSU YOOCHEON JAEJOONG CHANGMING YUNHO HWAITING!!
CASSIOPEIA+THE POWER OF FIVE DAEBAKKKK!!>_<

actually have a lot more to say but judging from the length of my comment i decided to stop.

hahahahaha

i'm very long-winded okay!!

GAHH,FIVE FIVE FIVE.

COME BACK PLEASE I BEG YOU ALL!!

CASSIOPEIA IS WAITING!!

want to meet them want to meet them!!>_<

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

OKAY CAN YOU JUST HURRY!!??

2011-10-09T00:14:00.002+08:00

S.M. AHH S.M....

when is Homin coming??

I LIKE SUPER EXCITED AND SCARED!!

hurry release details!!

I WANT TO MEET THEM!!

GAHHHHHHHHHHH!!

anyways i just completed watching Ep 4 of The Vampire Diaries!!

IT'S DAEBAK!!

but i think i need to open up my ears.

sometimes i can't really hear clearly what they're talking about.

hehehehe,english not very good ahh,deproved liaooo~~

okay okay.

my RED VAIO want explode liaoo.

CAUSE I KEPP DOWNLOADING TVXQ! TOHOSHINKI HOMIN VIDEOS!

GAHHH!

suddenly so many videos to download!!

cause Youtube can't watch they blocked all~~

anyways i'm happy and satisfied cause they're all like HQ/HD yahhh~~

kekekekekekekekeke~~

gonna go sleep liaoo cause parents were rushing.

ENJOY THIS SATURDAY EVERYONE!!

BYE!!^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

cried so much today....T^T

2011-10-08T23:49:00.002+08:00

AIGO.

i've always known i've no willpower.

but still,that Doctor was so harsh!!

went to consult the doctor regarding weight loss.

yepp,trying to get slim using medical ways.

thought it'd just be a simple consultation where i'll just get some medication prescribed.

didn't expect i had to exercise and go on a diet lifestyle thingy.

oh well,i was like 'Okay...'

then he told me to walk/jog/run 2.4km.

then i said i can't cause i suck in it and have failed my 2.4km run for about 4 straight years.

then you know what he told me?

'BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T PUT IN EFFORT.'

OH MY GOSH.

i almost dropped dead on the spot.

NO KIDDING OKAY.

he didn't know,how much effort i put in the run!

and i ALWAYS retook my run okay!

i remembered the days in secondary school when i ran till i cried cause my body was aching and hurting so much and my teacher told me 'YOU FAIL!!'

such a traumatising experience for me!

yeahh,i do admit i'm lazy.

but then,time to time i try to exercise yahh,just that they don't really go on for too long.

BUT AT LEAST I TRIED!

i feel really hurt when people judge me you know.

and the way he said it was as if he was rushing to cut me off.

i really dread it.

i'm so very afraid of the next consultation.

so my tear banks burst and i just keep weeping away.

because i really hated this judgement he was stamping on me.

yahh,i know he was trying to push me to be motivated to lose weight.

but i thought it was too harsh and i could not take it.

I'M FRAGILE OKAY!!

so yahh,cried for like about 3 times.

cause when i got calm,i thought about him commenting i didn't put in effort.

-_-

i know it may sound lame.

but the burning question i want to ask is,

YOU THINK I WANT TO FAIL?

YOU THINK I DON'T WANT TO RUN?

but it's not as easy as it seems.

yahh,i admit that sometimes i hate my weight and my body size,and i think of changing it.

but what i believe in is systematice step-by-step procedure.

i always tell and remind myself.

I DON'T AIM TO BE SKINNY.

OR EVEN BE IN THE HEALTHY RANGE.

i just want to revert back to my Secondary school weight.

i know i was a real crybaby.

but what was i to do???

i really felt very hurt.

it was as if thousands of arrows got stabbed into me.

really hurt.

the thought of it makes me FURIOUS!!

seriously.

GAHHH.

so yahh,gonna try to medication to see if it works ahh.

exercise,i'll try but i really cannot foresee myself doing so much.

so yeahh,see it as it goes.

lastly ,what i want to say is,

IF LOSING WEIGHT WAS SO EASY,THERE WOULDN'T BE OBESE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD,AND THERE WON'T HAVE THE EXISTENCE OF WEIGHT LOSS DOCTORS ALREADY.

i know i sound dumb and everything.

but do anyone think about things from our point of view?

we are obese,and we know it.

so why add salt to wound??

i admit i have no self-discipline.

so there it is.

what am i to do?

i'm really scared and confused about this situation.

but personally,i think it'd be really good if i could lose some weight.

but my point is,

SIZE,WEIGHT OR YOUR DRESS SIZE DOES NOT,I REPEAT,DOES NOT, AND WILL NOT, DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON.

at least i still have family and friends.

and they're enough.

i'm not keen on collecting a full truckload of friends who befriend me because they like me for my size.

yeahh.

this was like 'DING!THE WORLD ROTATES FOR SURE BUT HUMANS MAY NOT.'

because we tend to judge people by their looks.

ermmm,I HATE IT even though it may be unavoidable.

so i say,

KEEP AN OPEN MIND.

a quote from TVXQ!'s Asu Wa Kuru Kara lyrics:

I want to tell only you
That tomorrow will surely come

so yepp,there's no need to worry too much.

stay positive!!^^

lastly,to end off.

P.S.i still feel like a fool for crying non-stop.

but i just couldn't control.

oh well,couldn't be helped.

T^T

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

THIS FEELING....

2011-10-03T22:35:00.002+08:00

OH MY GOSH.
maybe i'm getting hysterical or nostalgic.
either, or, or maybe both!!
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~
kept listening to Mirotic the past few days.
was watching Mirotic videos too.
FIVE FIVE FIVE.
so important to me ahhh...
keep having the feeling they'll come back.
don't know why.
but on second thoughts it feels impossible.
cause they're all individually busy.
where do they find the time and energy to get together!!??
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
this is so ironic i know ahh!

oh well,should stop thinking about these stuffs.
I'M SUPER EXCITED NOW!!
TVXQ! HOMIN'S COMING TO SINGAPORE!!
can S.M. just release the details as soon as possible!!??
i'm living in anxiety ahhh!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
is this finally my chance to meet them??
I CAN'T WAIT!!
need to come up with a good strategy to clear up my schedule,meet them as many times as possible and snatch tickets!!

WISH ME LUCK AGAIN!!
hahahahaha!!
as usual i'm pre-planning again!!

this is named PROJECT HOMIN.
hehehehe,cause i met JYJ before liaoo~~
KEKEKEKEKEE~~^^
SO EXCITED!!>_<

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

DENTAL!!

2011-09-29T22:18:00.002+08:00

okay,i've got dental appointment tomorrow!!

SCAREDDDDDDD!!

think the dental person will say my teeth very dirty AGAIN!!

hope i don't need to do much amendments to my teeth yeahh~~

planning on just polishing then enough liaoooo~~

still got 10 more days till the end of my MRT concession.

ANYBODY WANT TO GO OUT??

I VERY FREE!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

hope the remaining holidays go well~~

hope i complete all my shows by the end of the holiday!!

or else i'll have a hard time catching up once school reopens!!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

i need to improve in my school work!!

SERIOUSLY!!>_<

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

Storm & Stress!!??

2011-09-29T22:09:00.002+08:00

GAHH,think i'm in risk of Storm & Stress!!??

hmm,i'm actually very simple and straightforward.

i always repeat this sentence:

I TELL NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH.

so yepp,i don't try to suck up to people or whatsoever.

i think it's sometimes very demeaning to have someone tell me that i'm not worth of existing in this world.

that all the food and drinks i've consumed in my life isn't worth it.

i mean,WHO ARE YOU TO SAY THAT!!??

what i want to say is, everyone has their worth in this world.

be it a man or woman, boy or girl, we all have a right to be born and exist in this world.

we make make mistakes but what's important is to learn from it isn't it??

insulting or putting down people won't really help them learn.

it makes them feel hate depression and even a sense of self-worthlessness.

SO WHY??

i know that language is used to convey feelings and thoughts.

but i think that if that information that is spoken will hurt or degrade someone,then i think it is inappropriate.

i always believe in changing myself to suit others.because only i have to change yepp.

but it takes time and experience,doesn't it??

and i also believe in listening to both sides of the story.

SO WHY??

jumping to conclusions i real bad!!

and i hate it so much!!

it's always impulsiveness(in the bad way) that hurts another party.

i guess i've done it many times too yeppp.

but it's really irritating when someone does it to me.

oh well,guess i'm really getting into the Storm and Stress mode.

maybe Storm and Stress syndrome even!!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~

kyl,RELAX!!

P.S.my conclusion is,LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES!!

yeahh yeahh~~

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

saddening just to hear and see.

2011-09-26T23:51:00.002+08:00

it's been about two years already??

since the lawsuit Jaejoong,Yoocheon and Junsu filed against S.M....

just wanted to express my thoughts here.

it's really sad for us Cassies yeahh,every time some news about TVXQ!/JYJ comes out.i remembered everything was actually going on well and suddenly news of the lawsuit broke out.

i didn't even know because that period was like exam/tests/stress period, where i was unable to be updated on news on the internet that much.
their last official song release as FIVE was Toki Wo Tomete

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69Ha58uv3fo

and the PV itself was so heart wrenching...T^T

there was totally no interaction even though they were physically together as a group.
*sigh*
we don't know what really happened and so there is no WRONG or RIGHT in who to believe and who to continue supporting.
as the FIVE of them always said, ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH.
i know people are laughing at Cassies saying we are gullible and blah blah blah.
but just as other fans support their fandoms, what Cassies want to do is the same too.
we are contented to just continuing seeing them on stage,even though the circumstances may be difficult and so on.
even though people always say we're daydreaming,i myself will continue to believe that there will be a day that the FIVE will return together again as FRIENDS.
they were so close as friends, brothers and family.

the bond may have been broken but i believe that there's still a thin thread holding all FIVE of them together.
guess we have to wait to see who takes the first step first.

i myself think that one way to settle all these things is for them to go into army at the same time.

they can then sort out their emotional and psychological issues upfront,face to face.

no company or person can interfere with them yeahh.

oh well,they are doing well now but i still hope,really wish for them to come together as FIVE again.

a Cassie can hope right??

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

SCARY AHH!!

2011-09-23T20:42:00.002+08:00

it was really scary!!

i saw like TWO people with the same face appearing one after another!!

ermm,the scary part is i only always saw ONE of that Two peoples only...

so when the second person appeared i was like 'GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!'

'THIS CAN'T BE REAL!!'

scared the creep out of me!!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AIGO,next time i must steady and ready myself!!

or not i'll get shocked again!!

T^T

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

RESULTS!!

2011-09-18T22:27:00.002+08:00

got this Semester's results on the 16th yeahh~~

i don't why but i even forgot that results were released on that day!

other people were all rushing to know their results but i took a look of my results only at night!!

HAHAHA!!

what's with my lack of urgency ahh!!

hahahaha!

i expected to have modules that failed.

turned out i passed all!!

and even had improvement in my GPA!

PHEWW!!

that was real close!!

hehehe~~

as usual, got a C+ and a B+.

don't know why this always happens.

it's like a curse!!

OH WELL,better than failed grade right!!

hehehehe~~~

so my GPA for this Semester's 3.75.

hehehe~~

improved quite a lot from Sem 1.1's 3.5 and Sem 1.2's 3.6~~

really really relieved!!

hope next Sem i'll improve too!!

but i don't dare to dream of a GPA 4!!

too far-fetched lahhhh!!

for me what's really important is to do my best,and make sure that i am satisfied.

wishing for too much won't get me anywhere too far yeahh~~

have to display effort through my actions,not only by wishing!!

i officially have a new pet phrase ahh!

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.

hehe~hope you do so!!

(if there is even a you existing!)

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

Let's SMURF it up!!

2011-09-14T22:37:00.002+08:00

hehehe,went to watch The Smurfs today with besties~~

so funny lahhh~~

but a few parts quite sad.

tear-worthy ahh!!

generally a cute and funny film.

love it when cartoons come together with humans!!

EPIC LAHH!!

been going out these few days cause i don't want to waste my MRT concession!

but i think i end up spending more money!

OOPPPS!

HAHAHA!

i always end up doing stupid and lame things.

OH WELL!

this is my life!!

hahahahahaa~~^^

so anticipating next week's BBQ session!!

thinking of all that meat makes me wanna fly to the sky!!

HAHAHAHA!!

the Karaoke session at Teo Heng with Liang Yue and Zifeng yesterday was really fun too.

Liang Yue and me kept screaming lahh.

we were super amused and amazed at the newly improved TVXQ! song list!!

a privilege we didn't get to experience in the past despite TVXQ! releasing so many albums and songs previously i can't even correctly list them all out.-__-

hehehehehe,WANNA SING AGAIN!!

will be next next week probably~~

hmmm,need to learn to prioritise the songs i want to sing!!

WHAHAHHAHA!!

very broke now.

shall cease to describe but hopefully i'll get all my leftover money returned to me by this week.

or else i'll have to take up drastic measures!!><

FINALLY COMPLETED WATCHING SCENT OF A WOMAN!

and i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo agitated.

was totally satisfied with the ending,kind of unexpected for me yeahh~

but was really glad Yeon Jae didn't pass away!at least not during the last episode!!

am hoping for season 2!!

the chemistry of the lead actors are not to be ignored!!

but it would have been better if MUCH MORE content(extension of her wishes) on her Bucket List was fulfilled.

it would have been interesting to see Ji Wook go the extra mile to help her fulfill her Bucket List.

was thinking of a proposal and maybe a kid~

hehe~

it was also saddening to see Hee Joo pass away.

that leaves Dr Choi Eun Seok with no one to be his other half.

OH WELL.

i missed the little doggie.

he should have appeared for the last episode!!

solely hearing about his condition was not enough!

we had to see it,witness it to be convinced!!

this is definitely on the NUMBER ONE SPOT on my list of favourite dramas.

because its quality's so high i couldn't believe how they accomplished it.

every second i was watching it i was pondering.

IT WAS SHOT LIKE A FREAKING MOVIE!!

it was also good in the sense that it set me thinking and pondering about how i live my life.

one key phrase of the show was to 'LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST'.

we always hear it but we don't seem to make the effort to practice it.

the drama fully demonstrates this point at a very real level.

the cast's acting were impeccable.

there was not one character that was unconvincing yeahh....

so yepp,ONE HUNDRED THUMBS UP!!

and just a side note,

I AM SO VERY OBSESSED WITH GUY WITH WATERY EYES!

OH MY GOSH!

didn't see this coming!!><

P.S. examples are Choi Minho and Lee Dong Wook

ODDOHGE!!??

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

SHINee World Concert!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-09-11T00:34:00.003+08:00

YAYS YAYS YAYS!!

IT WAS ULTIMATELY INCREDIBLY DAEBAKLY(if there's even this word) SURPRISING!!

first thing was the seating.

Serene and I thought that we'd get blocked.

but the seat turned out to be quite okay.

even more than we expected it to!!

and we could get quite a close view too.not that bad!!HAHAHA!!

words can't really describe how i feel.

but i've got lots of pics to spam!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!

it was a great evening/night.

too much excitement going on.

it was(according to my Facebook description):
VERY THE DAEBAK!!
but i thought it was a little too short.
but anyways i ENJOYED IT TOTALLY!!
and my ranking list has RESHUFFLED!!^^
1.Minho
2.Key
3.Taeminnie
4.Onew
5.Jonghyun
and as usual, Minho still secures his spot as number 1!!
WHAHAHAHA!!all thanks to his Mirotic 'pull your coat off your shoulders' style~~
kekekekekeke~~^^

their solo stages were really cool.showed off their individual charms yeahh~~

concert stage effects were totally cool too!!lots of usage of laser and sparks!!

ahahahahha,i kept getting scared and shocked and was in risk of flying of my seat.i jumped every time the scary sudden sparks burst out!!

hmmm,need to start saving up for my next concert!!

TVXQ!,JYJ,CSJH,SHINee yeahhh!!

LOVE YOU ALL!!

PLEASE COME TO SINGAPORE YAHHH!!><

hahahhahahahhaha.

mind block liao.

all in all,it was all worth it.

despite the anxiety and insecurity before the concert,everything turned out to be real good.

DAEBAK DAY TODAY!

think tomorrow will have sexy voice liaoo.

my throat hurts like a bitch(sorry for coarse language!!) now....

-___-

P.S. Photobucket was being stubborn and couldn't work on 3 different Internet browsers that i tried to use.

so i'm lazy to upload pics one by one.

the above are highlights of the day.

HAHAHA!!3 out of 5 consists of my face!!

HAHA!i'm too important!!^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

NO!PLEASE DO NOT DISAPPEAR!!

2011-09-06T00:14:00.002+08:00

don't want to use the D to the I to the E word.

sounds annoying?

ehh.

I LOVE SCENT OF A WOMAN!!

YAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

i'm SO GLAD i watched it!!

initially watched cause i want to see Xiah Junsu in HD!

HAHA!

but then i got impressed,immersed, then obsessed!!

the first episode was a blast for me yahh!

according to my past experiences, first episodes of good dramas(or should i say,ALL dramas??) always suck.

Scent of a Woman was unexpectedly interesting and attractive.

GAHH.

i have to admit that Lee Dong Wook really impressed me.

not only with his body yahh!!(even though more than half the time i'm looking at his abs...-__-)

DON'T CALL ME CHEEKO PEK!!

haha,his acting really made me go 'WOW'.

he successfully,easily,effortlessly made me fall in love with him!

LOVED HIS TEARS AHH.

and ahh,why their eyes like tap harr??

they cry like free ahh!!><

the plot's interesting,the characters are superb,the houses are beautiful,WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE!!??

think this will be the recommendation of the year ahh!><

not to mention Xiah Junsu's cameo!!

made the show even more interesting!!

every time when the tune of 'You are so Beautiful' comes up,my heart will clench ahh!><

LOVE THE SONG!!

SONG OF THE WEEK!

the lyrics are so meaningful!!think i'll faint if he sings it directly to me~~

but i'm so sad this week's the drama end.

TWO MORE EPISODES TO GO!!

i'm really scared.

don't want Yeon Jae to just leave the World like that.....T^T

Hee Joo left already,not Yeon Jae too!!><

this drama is really meaningful.

every episode is so heart wrenching and tear-worthy!!

but i didn't cry ahh!

hoho.

hope the ending will be a satisfying one!!

and i don't mind a few more kiss scenes and holiday scenes!!

HOPING FOR THE BEST.

Scent of a Woman/여인의향기 파이팅!!

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

ehh.

2011-09-02T00:31:00.003+08:00

things are not going very well.
seems like i'm gonna be alone!
I SCAREDDDDD!!><

GAHHHH.

erm,the learning carnival was fun todayyy~~
hoho.
wish i had more time to finish all games and activities there.
and attend art-related workshops.
oh well.

ehh,gonna rest tomorrow.
on Saturday there's friendship band workshop!
then next Monday is work!!
ALONE!
SIAN.
since harping on it won't help,i'll just live with it.
just hope the job won't be so tough to handle!

I HOPE!!
><

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

UNLUCKY DAY!!

2011-08-26T22:30:00.000+08:00

series of unfortunate events again!!

but fortunately i wasn't late!!!

HAHAHAHAHAA!!

signed up for Ukulele course in school.

first time i tried to sign up it was all full.

hope this time i get in!

but i SCAREDDDDDDDDDD!!

i hate being alone in unfamiliar situations!!

GAHHHHHHHHHH!!

okay,if i get in then i think i've to face it lahh!!

hehe.

try try.

but it seems fun!!

hehe~~

wanna prove that i'm not a musical retard!!

cause i'm already a proven tech-retard!!

SIANNNNNN!!

okay,these few days i will fool around like there's no tomorrow!!

miss my drama dance!!

maybe next week can dance.

when no one's looking.

hehe~~^^

hope i get the job and get same shift and off days as my friends.

i hope!!

hehe.

bye!^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

HOLIDAYS!

2011-08-21T21:35:00.000+08:00

super duper excited for holidays!!!!!

gonna do lots of stuffs yeahh!!

just scared not enough money to enjoy!!

haha!!

tomorrow got submission, Wednesday watch movie, Saturday got handicraft workshop!!

FUN FUN FUN!!

yeahhh heyyyyyy!!

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

he;s the one with the problem,NOT ME!

2011-08-21T21:27:00.001+08:00

so please i beg you,get your facts right!!

don't everytime tell me what talk to him or what.

he was the one in the wrong.

he ate and took my things without permission.

so what if i learned Psychology??

I'M NOT A PSY STUDENT!

and i focus on EARLY CHILDHOOD STUDIES!!

too bad if he has bad conduct.

why must i pick up the pieces for him?

why must your anger be directed at me?

i don't get it okay.

thanks for your efforts.

talk to him yourself.

because i'm not his mother.

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

LAST DAT OF SCHOOL!!

2011-08-20T00:56:00.001+08:00

today marks the end of semester 2.1!!
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
time flies ahh!!

the drama performance was a real success!!
and i didn't expect myself to act so well!!
haha!!
many people said i was suitable for evil looks!!
hehe~~

still have Global Citizenship learning pack left then i'm free!!
YAYS!!
wanna watch Suck Seed yahh!!
time for me to feed my Thai movie addiction!!
hohoho!!
very sleepy yeahh!!
gonna sleep now!!
YEAHH HEYYY!!\^^/

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

disappointment.

2011-07-31T00:12:00.002+08:00

got my SHINee World Tour Concert tix.

the cheapest one with restricted view.

too many things happened.

to sum up everything i'm unhappy with Running Into The Sun's management style and SHWAOLS' attitudes.

yepp.

if you wanna buy tix please look at the seating plan before hand!!

don't request so much when the ticket starts selling!!

also, read the F&Q properly can!

and then i also realised.

friends are not all true yahh.

yepp.

be careful.

as i have always been.

so yepp.

i'm glad my parents are sponsoring me the tic for my 18th Birthday present!!

(at least my state of bankruptcy won't come that fast!)

haha~

ehh,gonna go grab merchandise!

hope i'll be able to save enough money by then!

kyl HWAITING!!

P.S.i secretly hope that CSJH The Grace or TVXQ! will be the mysterious guest performers for SHINee's SG concert.

i really hope so!!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!><

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

i'm in deep trouble.

2011-07-28T23:20:00.003+08:00

didn't realise until now.(REALLY NOW.)

i'm like so strapped for cash!

some more i'm going for SHINee concert.

GAHH.

okay.

calm down ahh.

try to scrimp and save ahh!!

SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

i'm so gonna faint.

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

contentment.

2011-07-28T22:56:00.004+08:00

got back some tests and assignment results this week.
was okay, quite satisfied with my performance.
was particularly happy with my A for my essay yepp.
finally a grade i can be proud of!!
thing is, my class has many people who are like exceptional learners.
i know i can't compare with them, but then it's inevitable to feel sad or inferior when comparing my results with theirs.
that's why i try not to do so.
but still, sometimes when we work hard the results that we get are not what we expected.
sadness then comes in again.

aigo.
this is life,isn't it??
yeahh,let's try to accept things as they are!
i've to complete my craftwork and individual poster as soon as possible!
dragging them on is not doing anyone any good!
ehh,i think i'm too relaxed as of now.
need to gear myself up for upcoming presentations and test!
SCARED!!
i really hate theories ahh!!
have to memorise things that i'll forget immediately after the test!(sorry,i'm a hands-on person)
oh well,i need to go through tests in order to graduate.
hope i'll be more awake in class!!

WISH ME LUCK FOR EVERYTHING!!
gonna try get SHINee concert tix this coming Saturday!!
AHHHH!!
i scared!!had a nightmare about it you know!!
GAHHHH!!

okay,relax and keep calm!!
now i'm wondering what i'm gonna have for lunch tomorrow!!
HAHA!!
^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

PHEW!

2011-07-21T22:09:00.003+08:00

it's been a really stressful week, but am i glad that i lived pass it!!

keke~~

i'm feeling quite proud of myself yepp~

successfully completed my hand puppet and diorama within the allocated deadline!!

YI LEI IS A GOOD GIRL!!

hehe,self-praise goes a longgggggggggggggggg way!!

this week was disappointing too.

shall cease to describe.

but i still feel sad.

oh well, life's like this.

think i need to work extra hard this week.

try to complete group assignments so that i can rush everything up before the Floaty gate opens*ahem ahem*

but i think it'll be a difficult task cause my group always does things last minute...

-__-

okay,see how things go ahh.

hope life will go on as usual with less quarrels and more sleep.

i'm in need of more dreams!!

hehe~~

feel like going to the library tomorrow!!

hmm,see if i have time not...

this week was hectic with an essay to pass up and a group video to complete.

luckily we completed in time.

it's not an easy feat,but we managed ultimately!!

relieved but really think we need to brush up on our time management skills!!

hope things will flow smoother and get better.

bye~^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

just survived through another deadline!!

2011-07-18T22:24:00.002+08:00

slept at 2am.

GAHH.

half-dead lahh.

i'm bone-tired now.

ehh,but i need to accomplish something!!

posted on my Facebook status:

so lazy to do things.shall go sleep ahh...
Freehand Drawing is ARGHHHHHH...i always can't seem to finish on time!!><

but right after posting it i felt guilty.

GAHH.

humans are unpredictable.

especially me.-__-

anyways i realise i've got much more things to do this week.

SIAN.

will sew my swans for a while later.

Freehand Drawing's sucking the life out of me!!

i'm like lagging so much ahh....

OPPS. forgot to find pix to print.

AHHH.

so many things to do ahh!!

okay, don't panic,calm down!!

kyl HWAITING!!

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

TIME IS TIGHT!

2011-07-11T23:15:00.001+08:00

even though i know it and keep reminding myself,i end up doing nonsense stuff all the time.

SIAN.

i even applied for a job at M&M's!!!??

HAHA!!

they're super cute can!!

ermm, anyway now my burning problem is that i need parents and children!!

need to interview them and let them do survey questions!!

GAHHHHHH!

i sian.

i have TOTALLY NO ONE.

emmm...i also pai seh to ask for help from strangers...

i'll find a way.will try lahh...

my skin very thin.not a very good trait....

T^T

hope i can have a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot of inspirations to help me!!

PRAY TO BEI GONG AHHH!!

please please please!!

T^T

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

self-discipline!!

2011-07-09T01:19:00.002+08:00

okay, i'm back to civics and moral education once again!

it's SDL week next week.
I'M SO WORRIED.
scared that i'll slack and put off assignments until i forget what i need to do!!

ermmm,just hope for the best!

my most important mission now is to complete my Global Citizenship essay.
supposed to be due today then the deadline was extended!!
EXASPERATED!!
cause i stayed up till 2am to complete it.
nevertheless, at least i have time to 'reform' and correct faults in my assignment.
so yepp,just go with the flow ahh...(like i always do!!)

ehh,also have a feeling that i'll spend tons of money purchasing craft materials again.
GAHHHHHHH!
why does this always happen to me!!??
(actually i asked for it myself.-___-)

okay,wish me good luck!!

it's always good to collect 'extra' luck!!><
let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

time to rant again!!

2011-07-05T22:47:00.003+08:00

okay,i'm once again stressed out again!!
have an essay due this Friday but want to complete it by Thursday!!
think it'll be impossible ahh!!

GAHH!not then i realised got a lot of things to do.
worst part is my buddy haven't replied me!!
so here i am chunking information and content into my essay doc like there's no tomorrow!!

i don't think it even makes sense!!
ehh,my brain juice is drying up,literally.
i need some break time!!(even though i had a lot already!!)
okay,the only way to save myself now is to think happy thoughts!!
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
i bet i'm the only one struggling to stay awake and complete my essay!!

word of advice and warning;DO NOT SLACK!!
(but it's a little too late for this already,isn't it??)
T^T

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

feel trapped.

2011-06-30T22:46:00.000+08:00

ehh,my mum's still angry,so i try to avoid doing things that'll make her even more angry.

my friends have invited me to go out with them(2 of them),but i rejected them all.

so sad!!

one's my bestie(the meeting was last Saturday) and another's a good friend i've not met for very long....

GAHHH.

so this is loss of freedom.

feeling sad ahh.

but what to do?

i can't do anything except do what i'm supposed to do.

okayy,i accept.

but it's still saddenning.

it's alright.

i'll live.

excited cause i'll probably be going to the library tomorrow!!

LOVE THE LIBRARY!

hehe~~

finally i can borrow children's books again!!

hehe.

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

not the first time already!!-__-

2011-06-27T23:45:00.002+08:00

i'm off-schedule again!!(did i even have a schedule in the first place!!!??)

okay, enough of self-contradiction!!
I AM SO NOT PRODUCTIVE.
this is the conclusion i made.

ermm,i was supposed to rush home and start drawing.i ended up using the laptop.
until about 9pm then did i start drawing.
it's almost 12 and i only completed the outlines of the potted plant.
I NEED 3 LEAF DETAILS AND SHADING FOR ALL SKETCHES!!
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
why,why,why!!??
i'm always like that!!
okay,stop wallowing in self-pity!!

okay,anyway there something happy i can indulge in today!!
CSJH The Grace is coming back!!
this news alone made me so excited i went on to re-listen and re-watch their past performances!!(another evidence of my 'productiveness'!!)
okay,they're great.
ehh,REALLY GREAT OKAYY!!
i don't understand how people this talented can get disregarded for SO LONG!!

but anyway they're returning and i'm so gonna buy their new Single!!
probably gonna pre-order it!!
YAYS!!
after so long my first new CD!!
I'M SO JUMPY AND ECSTATIC AND EXCITED!!
it's as if there are a thousand bubbles inside of me waiting to burst out!!

okay.i will be on track tomorrow.
PROMISE.
okay!!
^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

luckily i have my friends to cheer me up.

2011-06-26T16:56:00.002+08:00

despite the sadness last night i feel so happy today.(or is it now??)

hehe.

my friends are all so cute and funny lahh!

i'm happy to have them.

GAHHHHHHHH!!

hope we'll stay like this for the rest of our lives!

hehe~~

LOVE YOU ALL!!

<3<3<3<3<3

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

okay,i think i know why i can't finish work on time...

2011-06-26T03:05:00.000+08:00

ermmm,besides the point that i start late,it's also because i'm obsessive about details!!
GAHHHHHH!!suddenly realised it!!
i'm still working on my Family Collaboration assignment!!
and it's not even graded!
how fail can i be!!??
GAHHHHHHH!!
better start working on my survey questions!!
GAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!><

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

FUN DAY!and unfortunate too!!

2011-06-26T01:53:00.002+08:00

wanted to post this but forgot.
went out with my Besties on Thursday!
LOVE THEM TO BITS AND PIECES!(but i think they don't know!!><)

anyway,it was a totally unfortunate day for me!
i shall cease to describe it.
Moon loved the scrapbook so YAYS!! we accomplished our goal!!
it was quite a simple day.
went for K,then snack,a movie,then dinner.
in between many things happened,but i was the most unlucky one.
don't know why my luck has been so lousy recently...
GAHH.
think i need to have a more positive attitude!!
am considering to purchase 'The Book Of Secrets'!!
heard that it's real useful!
shall search for reviews and compare prices!!
HEHE!!
Thrifty me!!

hope when school reopens things will get better!!
Yi Lei HWAITING!!q^^p

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

it's easy to console someone but not yourself.

2011-06-26T01:27:00.002+08:00

yahh,i console my friends when they're sad.
at least i try ahh.
but when i'm sad,self-consolation does not really have the desired effect i expected it to have.
yepp,but i do feel better.
i don't know why but my relationship with my mum is getting more strained day by day.
maybe because i don't bother to talk to her.
cause i know that if we talk,things will get worse.
i trust my gut feeling.
today,it came true.

seriously,she's getting more and more unhappy with me.
i almost felt like leaving the house and never returning any more.
but i didn't cause i don't have the means to accomplish this.
yepp.the sad reality of life.
sometimes i wonder why some of my friends rant and scold their parents as if they're their enemies.
i understand that feeling now.

tonight was the most worthless night of my life.
i was 'LABELLED' as unfilial,rude,unfeeling and worthless.
i felt bad.real bad.
but there was nothing i could do to salvage the situation.
i guess i should stop blaming others.

but there's a burning question in my head.
WHY ME??

i don't know why i'm so 'lucky' to hit the jackpot to become the unlucky person at home.
it's been like this for 2 weeks already.
i'm really afraid this will carry on for the rest of my life.
i think i can forget about moving about and living comfortably around in my house.

even my comfort zone feels so unsafe and terrifying now.
i have totally NO ALLIES.(not that i know of)
and the blame has all being pushed onto me.
just because i am expressionless??

then i can only say i'm unlucky.
i cried in the shower ahh.so creative right?
haha.
i think no one feels my hurt and agony.
or should i say,no one bothers to know.
my mum scolds me.
they look at me,then tell me to be careful cause i've been 'marked'.
i accept this as some kind of 'care' and 'warning'.
i already knew this disaster would happen,that's why i refused to go out with my mum earlier in the afternoon.
but she insisted so i followed,lest she start her volcanic eruption and push all the 'ashes' onto me and start screaming at me.
i'm scared of her screams and also of further straining our relationship.

but it still happened and the damage has been done.
what can i do??
hmm...wait and die??
i think i should just shut my mouth and try to live life peacefully.
thought of a few steps to accomplish that.
step 1:avoid eye-contact
step 2:avoid being in close perimeters to her.
step 3:DO NOT talk to my younger siblings(i always end up arguing and fighting with them and I GET ALL THE BLAME!)
step 4:close an eye to all incidents
step 5:calm down and try to accept what comes.
step 6:don't take these incidents to heart.

aha,i'll try to remember these 'guidelines' that i drafted up.

P.S.my long-awaited period finally came.maybe this is why my sorrow gets expanded and blown out of proportion.
GAHH,this is part and parcel of being a girl!!ACCEPT IT!!><

i feel relatively calm now.
PHEW.i think 'SAD''s just not the mood for me.
my sadness lasts for a while only.
as i said,i'm an easily contented person.
PHEWWWWWWWWWWW!!
@_@
let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

oh,sian!

2011-06-19T22:51:00.002+08:00

okay,i admit.
i keep procrastinating!!
i just can't help it.
i mean,which normal human won't grab any chance they have at resting??
as least i know i will!!

okay,so i keep being a lazy pig.
but when i think of it,it's not being lazy.
i do conducive things also right??
i read and do stuffs.
not just sit around and do absolutely nothing at all.
doesn't it deserve some kind of encouragement too??

GAHH.
not only is my energy depleting,so is my cash flow.
i'm seriously falling off budget!!
SIANNNNNNNNN!!
i'm in dire straits now!!
can't think properly.
HOMEWORK A LOT!HOW TO FINISH IN TIME!
gonna faint.

guess i need to 'RE-LEARN' how to relax and take a big breath.
shall start tomorrow,since i'm not stepping out of house.
okay.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
self-encouragement is vital to success.
i stand by this statement.
hehe^^
let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

ohoho.

2011-06-12T20:47:00.002+08:00

okay, it's saddening.
to think i have lessons during term break!!
GAHHH!
and it's immediately tomorrow!!
Class BBQ tomorrow!!
EAT EAT EAT,FAT FAT FAT!!
haha.
hope it'll be fun!!
^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

if it's really the case,then i don't know what to think or do.

2011-06-11T23:08:00.002+08:00

it's really depressing.
i mean,i feel like all the blame has been pushed onto me.
what??
just because i refuse to bring one bag of groceries to the car i'm a bad kid??
i don't get the logic of this.
i just wanna continue carrying the groceries,because i feel that it will not pose any problem to me.
and then i became a person with sins??
i really don't understand.
just because my younger sis made you angry earlier means that you can be angry at me?
and it's twice the amount you're angry at me as compared to her?
WHY??
am i that detestable??
to put it crudely,am i just a pain in your ass?
a person that you can vent your anger on anything and anywhere you want??
i really can't believe it.
you screamed at me and told me to get lost.
never in my life had i felt so hurt and humiliated.
how the hell did i know you'd get so angry??
and it's really just such a small matter.
i just don't get it.

i almost cried that day.but i didn't.
part of me was worried that you'd get even angrier.
part of me was just trying to put on a façade.
because i've grown up.
in about 2 months i'll be 18,and i tell myself,i can't cry so much anymore.
not when i get reprimanded and scolded by someone,or rather, anyone at all.

i thought our bond was very strong.
maybe i was wrong.
it's just saddening.
was it worth to get so angry??
to think you even slammed the stack of newspapers on the table right in front of me just now.
did i deserve this??
maybe i did,but i'm just a growing child.i make mistakes too.
i guess you forgot that.
even though people always say that in parents' eyes, children never grow up.
i guess you just wanted me to increase my growing speed huh.

it's so unnerving,that i don't dare to look you in the eye,don't dare to stay in the same space as you.
i know that all these will be temporary(as they always say,there's no overnight hatred...),but i've a feeling this time it'll stretch on.
it's okay.i accept it.
maybe i'm not a good daughter.
maybe i irritate and annoy you.
maybe i'm just an invalid in this house.

sometimes i feel this way.

maybe it's better for me to steer clear of your way.
maybe.

T^T

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

oh sian!

2011-06-08T00:09:00.000+08:00

too much to absorb.
20% for an 1 hour paper!GAHHHHH!!><
okay,my common sense will save me!!
hope i don't get nervous and forget everything tomorrow!!

tomorrow's the test and i'm not fully prepared.
this always happens ahh!
okay.
i feel guilty!

hope for the best!!
there's another one on Friday and i only just started studying!!
what's with me!!
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!><
*dizzy*

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

i miss my friends!!

2011-06-04T22:39:00.001+08:00

i don't know is it's just me, but there had already been several occassions, or should i say, at least once everyday, where i feel non-existent in class??
the feeling's so strong that i just don't feel like talking, and just wanna find a big hold to hide in the corner of the room.
am i strange??
i just feel lonely.
anti-social behaviour??
i think it's my temperament at play too.
i'm confused.
then today,i suddenly thought about my friends.(from secondary school one)

GAHHH,miss them so very much!!
they were the ones who walked me through the tough and fun and lame and exciting fours years in secondary school!

i can't mesh with people so easily.
i need time.
1 year is not enough.
it's strange lahh.
there are times where we're close,then suddenly we'll drift apart again.
(that's what i feel.)

so it's very strange for me.
all these that's happening.
i really wonder why.

it took about 2 years for me to get my friends to become best friends?
quite long isn't it?
hehe.
but i enjoyed and cherished that process.

i know i'm not a perfect person.
thus i don't expect others to be perfect too.
however, sometimes when things happen, all these beliefs get pushed aside a little.
it's somewhat inevitable.
but i'll try to repress it yahh.
there's a lot of work to be done on my character.

just hope everything gets better.
don't know why i'm suddenly having this friendship crisis all over again.
i just knew it.
i really get insecure at least once everyday.
OH WELL.LIVE WITH IT!OR SCARE IT AWAY!!
(the latter sounds more fun yepp.the former is like 'you can die and no one cares'.so sadistic!!i don't like ahh!><)

okay.
kyl's feeling better now.
tomorrow's the last PE lesson!
hope i don't get too smelly and sweaty!
hope the bus will have space for me to squeeze on!!

hehehe.
^^

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2011-05-29T00:07:00.000+08:00

it's rush hour again!!
homework,assignments,projects!!
GAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

i'd be lying if i said i didn't feel like dieing!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
it's getting tougher day by day!
still got an interview to complete!!
and i still have to compile it into an essay!!
I FORGOT TO DO RESEARCH!
GAHHHHHHH!!
i'm so very dead!!
once again,i stress,
24 HOURS IS NOT ENOUGH!
i need to work so much more harder!!
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!
wish me luck!!><

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

didn't see this coming yahh.

2011-05-29T00:05:00.002+08:00

and so i have to pay up harr...
when in the first place she did say she wanted to pay for me?
i'm really puzzled.
so i'll pay.
no big deal yahh.

learnt a lesson.
have to be careful.
so yahh.
i'd better buy things myself,not depend on others.
or the consequences will be blown up large.
larger than i expected.
well,just my luck.

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

exciting!!

2011-05-01T01:35:00.002+08:00

finally completed watching the latest episode of The Vampire Dairies!!
SHOCKED SHOCKED SHOCKED!!

one lesson i learnt from The Vampire Diaires:ALWAYS HAVE A BACK-UP!!!!

super super exciting!!
i don't want any more deaths!!
there was also quite a twist yahh!
with Jenna being captured resulting her being in transition to becoming a vampire!!
SO SCARY!

i really applaud the story/script writers!!
how the hell did they think of the story!!
GAHHHHHHHH!!
nothing like i expected!?
(may be only some parts lahh....hehe~~)

it's so nerve-wrecking and almst made my heart stop!!

can't believe i've watched it for about 2-3 years already!!
GAHHHHHHH!!
so long period of time ahh!(for one show...)

hope the outcome will be satisfying!!
i hate shows that are so close-knitted in the process and gives a loose ending towards the finishing.
makes me feel like i wasted my time okay!!
anyways,hope more good shows will come out!!
(Yoon Eun Hye and Micky and Yunho and Changmin they all one...)
even though i'm not sure if i'll even have the time to watch!?
HAHA!!

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

first week ended!!

2011-04-29T22:12:00.003+08:00

hehe.
first week of school was fine.
but was quite surprised by Creative Expressions and Play module.
cause we had some kind of physical activity time for this module!!
haha!so i finally exercised once in school!!
super fun ahh!even though quite tiring.

and then today was like the Royal Wedding.
so i was wondering what's a Royal Wedding like cause apparently the whole of Great Britain adores the couple.(Prince Will together with Kate)
and since it's my first time getting to watch a Royal Wedding(apparently only this wedding is put online for real-time viewing!?)

so i watched on TV first then online on Youtube.
and truthfully,it was quite lame.
there were like thousands of people.
they go squeeze outside the venue like free(actually it is lahh).
as if they can get to see lorr!!
only small ants just like when i went to concert!!
HAHA!!

anyways when i saw Prince William, especially his back-view i almost fainted can!!
cause he bald liao.
hard to imagine,considering he's the first person to inherit Princess Diana's superior genes lahh!!
think the blame is to be put on his father,Prince Charles!!
haha!!
sad lahh!Prince got no hair!!his Brother Prince Harry like still got so much hair!!!
Prince Will only 28 lehh!and i was shocked to know his wife's a year older than him.
-_-
anyways, the royal wedding was not at all impressive.
under my expectations lorrr..
expected more more more!!
and the wedding gown also not very nice?
even though it shows off a slim waist i felt there could be a better shape and cut of gown designed...
and apparently she didn't wear a very good bra?(if she did...)
but then i realised many people loves the wedding dress.
so yahh,guess i'm the one with bad eyesight!!
HAH!!
don't know how to appreciate it!
expected a more unique and 'out of the box' dress?
hehe~

okay.so yahh.
i was like 'okay,so Royal Wedding end liao ahh....'
like surprised lahh!
i asked my mum watch then she say no need watch.
she say i got no chance to marry Prince.
LAME!!
as if i want lorr!!
i then don't want my wedding to be broadcast for the whole world to see!!
somemore after the ceremony must go wave to everyone waiting outside!!
LAME!!
pretend to smile at them then somemore need kiss for them to see!!
it's all supposed to be private ahh!!

yahh!!

anyways Monday's a holiday!!
YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!
can rest and do homework!!
hehe~~
good-bye for now~~^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

WAHHHHHH

2011-04-23T23:00:00.001+08:00

so school's re-opening on Monday.
*sigh*

scared i'll get lost ahh.
think i'm the only one who didn't return back to school ever since holiday started!
GAHHHHHH!
that's a record,isn't it?

anyways just need to get ready and prepared for new fresh year 2 life!
AHHHHHH!
nervous ahh!
i'm almost always like this whenever school re-opens no matter how long the break!

but it's okay i guess.
just nerves and all.

need to work real hard in school.
hope i don't get so blur and confused so easily anymore!
HEHE!

good luck to all already back to school and those going back to school!
HAPPY SCHOOLING!

hope i enjoy school all over again~
^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

so ahh....

2011-04-17T23:27:00.002+08:00

i wanna succeed in knitting by the end of this week.
don't call me eccentric.
after crochet and knitting,i wanna learn more sewing techniques like embroidery and patching.
hopefully i can use the sewing machine at home too!!
knitting's quite a challenge to me and it's even harder without a mentor to guide me.
thought of going for classes but the time and money is a big problem.
and since i could master crochet all by myself, a little more time should be what i need to master knitting,isn't it??

hoping for the best!!

currently what i need is a bigger collection of yarn!
yes!
all kinds of colours, textures, weights and contrasts of yarn!!
*sigh*
need more money and time.
doubt i can achieve it.
no more space at home to store my stuffs.
it's growing,not reducing!
HELP ME SOMEONE!!
><

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

so what now?

2011-04-17T21:19:00.002+08:00

okay,kyl.
relax.
take it as it comes.
don't get too stressed up.
you're too panicky!!
let's smile and have a light heart!!
at least you have your 3 besties and other good friends!

life's like this.
take it as it comes.
you're maturing so please think better and clearer!!

hoho.
life is unfair but what can we do?
just accept and do your best.
even if your best can't outrun and outwin others, it's okay.
cause it's important to have faith in yourself.
and yes,it's okay to feel that it's unfair.
when this happens,just find ways to disstress and just let it go.
harping on it won't make matters better.
so yepp.
keep an open mind.

and yes,don't be afraid to cry.
it's not embarrassing.
it's who you are.
okay!
love you!
^^
<3<3

P.S.now i'm writing love letters and words of encouragement to myself!!HAHA!!><

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

okay.

2011-04-13T21:26:00.000+08:00

feel like kicking.and punching.seriously.i don't wanna fight.but it seems to happen when i least expect it to.what do i do?every time the blame is on me.hah.what a joke.but i'll live.cause i will.
good-bye.

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

Quotes of the Century (Egg)~

2011-03-27T22:31:00.001+08:00

as posted in Notes on my Facebook profile.
enjoy!

Quotes of the Century (Egg)~:Reality Volume

you,you,you or you can become included in this volume of quotes.

BEWARE!!

i'm always on the look-out for potential quotes!!

hoho~~^^

P.S.i want really quality quotes ahh.

those that are beneficial in teaching me life's lessons...

(okay. i know people are ignoring me already....-____-)

Said by: Mr Beh Kee Teng

Relationship: kyl's Polytechnic tutor

maybe you are younger than me!?

Quotes of the Century (Egg)~:Drama Volume

ahem.*cough**clear saliva*

so here goes.

this is purely for my personal entertainment and reference yepp.

I'M BORED AT HOME!!><

P.S. just a heads up here.i tried to cite in proper APA style but i realised the sources are too complicated and may be too far back in history to cite!!GAHHHHHHHH!!><

also, quotes may not be as accurate cause i remember them all from memory!hehe~

Quotes of the Century (Egg)~:Drama Volume

Said by: 巫婆mummy

Drama(Singapore): 我的岳母是巫婆。

你既保守，又性感，性感却又不暴露自己。

Said by: Stefan Salvatore

Drama(American): The Vampire Diaries

For over a century, i have lived in secret. Until now, i know the risk, but i have to know her!

Said by: Mother

Drama(Korean): 妈妈发怒了.

金窝银窝都不如自己的狗窝。

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

what kind of person am i?

2011-03-27T22:19:00.002+08:00

had a realisation.
i think i feel insecure at least once everyday.
is it normal at the psychology point of view?
i know the theories but still when it happens i'm in doubt.

in school, i work hard and yes, sometimes i may slack and put off work but in the end i complete everything i'm supposed to do and i submit work that i'm personally satisfied of.
there are hardly times where i hand in work which i did last-minute.
and i admit that i try very hard to start doing work in advance.
so early that the work may have already been started about a month before the deadline?

but in the end when results return my efforts are somehow not reflected.
that's why i feel sad and have low self-esteem.
this occurs for almost every module.

sometimes i think maybe it's because i'm just inadequate and can't give the tutors what they want.

it's not easy yahh.
seeing other people getting the best results when i myself have results that suck like shit.
it's not the results that's the problem sometimes.
it's the process and effort.
yepp.
but i'll continue trying.
because that's what i believe in?

yahh.
even though i'll be depressed and insecure, at the end of the day i'll continue doing and doing.

so yahh.
just ranting.
at least there's something i'm good at.

being humourous?
hehe.

good bye!
^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

so....

2011-03-27T22:14:00.002+08:00

so who and what do you think you are?
i really hate to do this.
rant at the computer/internet/nobody!?

why do i have to put up with your nonsense?
huh?
just because we're related by blood?
doesn't mean i have to and need to accept everything you do and say.

yes,i'm older than you.
but so what?
why is it that i have to give in?
why?
i really don't get it.

you're the one who's in the wrong,who initiated quarrels and fights first,but i always am forced to take the blame.

i really hate this feeling.
seeing your face alone makes me so angry!
i'm irritated and so very pissed off.
this is not the first time i'm feeling like this.
okay.
just get off my back and stop irritating me.

i'll try to ignore you.
and yes,because of what you're going through(i was at that age before.) so yepp,i'll be understanding.
but not for long.
because there's a limit to patience and tolerance.
and i'm only human.

stop giving me crap and just live your life.

stop giving me all these nonsense that i'm not interested in getting.

end of story.

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

recent thoughts...

2011-03-15T22:15:00.002+08:00

sad time yepp.
Japan experienced a major tsunami/earthquake recently.
but i'm really amazed and look up to Japanese people's attitudes and way of life.
because,even in such a time of turmoil,they remain calm and they are even polite enough to queue up to leave the location of disaster.
if the incident occured in other countries, i think the reaction would vary very greatly.
hope the people of Japan and people currently in Japan will get past feelings of grieve and hopefully,re-build their homes as soon as possible.
this taught me a lesson.

1)global warming is a really big issue now.
2)we're really lucky to stay in such a safe island like Singapore

thus,be contented with whatever we have!
i know that Singaporeans are gracious deep in their hearts ahh!
just that the circumstances and environment inevitably turned us into somewhat indifferent and unable to react appropriately in situations where we are required to act politely.
it's a little sad,but i can say that all the graciousness we had have not disappeared.
we just need to increase it and further cultivate it!!

yepp.
wanted to type a lot of things but am suddenly cut of inspiration.

just hope everyone will be safe and happy.
and that i don't feel so insecure anymore.
hehe.

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

it's study break now!but....

2011-02-23T23:15:00.004+08:00

but i have not started studying!!
GAHHHHHHHHHH!!
FAILURE MEEEEEE!!

anyways, i'll start officially tomorrow.
one good thing about the study break is that i can get enough sleep!!

the past month was totally crazy and hectic!!
PROJECTS,PROJECTS AND MORE PROJECTS!!
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

but it's all over!
so i'm super happy!!

just a little worried about my grades.
but to me, it's not all yepp!

i guess i'm starting to cultivate more love towards young children!
and i really think it's a very good and cool discovery!!
i have always imagined myself working with kids(due to my childishness....) but it's still shocking when i realised i'm really going to spend the rest of my time in future with them!!
CUTIE PIESSS!!
my neighbour's little boy is one of them!!
he's super cute and funny!!
ALWAYS screaming when my older sis gives him snacks and goodies!!
LITTLE BABYYYY!!

keke~~
i watch dramas all day long.
going to continue even though my eyes hurt!
GAHHHHHHH!!
cause i need to catch up!
missed too much already!!

yepp,the desires of human.
*sigh*

hope i'll succeed in studying tomorrow!!
GAHHHHHHHHHHH!!

and i need more money!!
GAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

my reaction to anything and everything seems to be a big 'GAHHHHHH!!'
funny me.

hehe~

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

you got a problem with big tummy??

2011-02-11T00:25:00.003+08:00

it's not as if you have a very small tummy.
i'm fat, so what!?
you all have no right to laugh at me.
i know i'm petty.
you think i'm taking jokes too seriously.

so what?

why can't you all put yourself in my shoes.
always being laughed at, criticised at.
it doesn't feel good.

no humans have any rights to disrespect any human.
please give me the due respect i deserve too.

i'm still so annoyed and irritated.
-__-

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

NEVER-ENDING!!

2011-02-02T23:42:00.002+08:00

seriously.
i keep doing and doing and doing but it just doesn't end.
and tomorrow's Lunar New Year!!
when am i going to find the time to finish all my assignments!!??
GAHHHHHHHH!!
in a bad bad situation!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!><
ok, calm down, and then breathe.
then think slowly.
don't be too tensed.
ok.
i can do it.
because i want to do it.
and because i believe.
^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

scared!

2011-02-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

i'm so freaked, so scared!!

ok, calm down.
so many things to do, so little time...
manage myself and everything will be alright.

*takes a deep breath*
BREATHE!!

ok, i'm fine now.
^^
let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

so hectic!

2011-01-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

it's gonna be Lunar New Year soon but i still can't relax.
so many assignments due right after new yearr!!
GAHHHHHH!!
i'm working so hard(actually not...)
but there's always not enough time!!
why did they have to squeeze everything in at the same period of time??
WHYYYYYYY!!??
hope i can finish things in time!!
AHHHHHHHHH!!
sucks sucks sucks...
T^T

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

T^T

2011-01-19T22:59:00.002+08:00

is it just me who's getting cranky?
i'm having family issues now.
i don't feel good about it.

i don't know what the shit i'm doing in school.
my assignments are all going haywire and everything's going wrong.
i'm so afraid i'll just break down.
i need sleep but i just can't seem to get enough.
i feel like a zombie and if this viscous cycle doesn't stop, one day i think i'll just collapse and never wake up.for real.

but i know i have to smile.
because even if i don't, the Earth still revolves.
life still goes on.
live it happily than regretfully.
my eyes really hurt now.
ODDHGE?
GAHHH.

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

GAHHHHHH!!

2011-01-16T00:12:00.002+08:00

this week was really hectic.
and it's only the first week of school!!
GAHHHHHHHHH!!
first time i stayed up so late doing homework!!
GAHHHHHHHHHH!!
slept at about 2am everyday.

was totally in a daze and didn't have any energy.
now,i'm still staying up!
this is a bad cycle!!
AHHHHHHH!!
hopefully i'll stop this.
i think i'm gonna break down sooner or later.

AISHH.
HWAITING~~

something real happy happened though.
TVXQ! won on Music Bank!!
YAYS!!
finally a win on a music show!!
been waiting for so long!!
and, i have a feeling they'll be coming to Singapore soon.
to promote Samsung~
just a gut feeling.
hope it becomes reality!!
want to see them five this year!!
ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH.
^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

on the brink of dieing.

2011-01-10T23:08:00.000+08:00

i don't know why i'm still blogging at this stage.
i mean, I'M LIKE DIEING ALREADYYYYYYY!!
got so many assignments, so little time and so little brain power!!
GAHHHHHHH!!
life sucks.
school sucks.
everything sucks.
-_____-

why can't my little brain work a little faster??
GAHHHHHHHHHH.
i've been doing this for so long.
i wanna get a 3.8 GPA!!
GAHHHHHHH!
guess it's impossible.
*cries*
T^T

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

it's happy to see you all back.

2011-01-08T17:28:00.002+08:00

finally!!
Gods of the East!!
TVXQ!!!!!!!!!!!
been waiting for so long!
but it's only two.
their comeback stage was DAEBAK.
but i saw tears and anger.
i didn't know if it was real.

it's sad to see how long they waited.
but happy to see them back so strong and powerful.
hopefully they'll have great album sales.
(i'm so sorry i didn't buy cause i didn't wanna take sides.T^T)

but seriously, the recent controversy with the other three,or should i say one,was really disappointing.

i always thought Junsu was innocent and angelic.
then why did he post a tweet like that on twitter?
i seriously don't get it.
maybe it wasn't directed towards the other two.
but in this kind of timing and circumstances,it's normal for people to think it is.
i mean, the three already formed their own group JYJ,so why can't people like Cassiopeia and so many others just give blessings to Changmin and Yunho?
the five were so good friends or even brothers in the past.
so why come to this stage?

i really hate it.
they were most successful when they were five as TVXQ!.
and it's not going to change even if JYJ advances into the USA and gets great album sales.
people will always ask them when the full TVXQ! will come back.
and i got a feeling their going to continue avoiding that question.
can't they just give us a definite answer?
if they're not returning as five then just tell us,announce it to the whole world!
stop telling us to 'ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH' when you're not doing anything to strengthen or at least preserve your past relationship.
fans will get tired also.
we love you,but we hate to see so much fighting going on.

the court should just make the best decision and stop making us wait.
it's really very hurtful not only for the five but also the fans.

lastly,i think senseless opinions should not be posted.
don't just write 'hyung'.
please insert the name before that.
so we know who you're talking about and we'll stop speculating.
it's getting really exhausting for us.
we want to continue believing but you make it difficult for us.
just,please don't make it anymore harder.
T^T

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

i'm sorry for thinking this way, but i really hate him.

2011-01-08T17:05:00.002+08:00

and it's not only today.
he really makes me so annoyed, irritated and furious that i feel like slapping him on the face.
but i don't do that cause i don't get violent.
and even when i want to scold him, my verbal words don't scare him.

why is he like that?
mummmy always tells us not to let him feel like he doesn't belong in this house.
saying that he doesn't spend much time at home,sometimes he'll feel out of place.
who cause this?
HIMSELF!
whenever we go out shopping he doesn't want to follow.
he only knows how to play basketball.

i mean, at least spend more effort on school work ok!!
even though i admit i'm not a hardworking student, at least i study when i need to.
i'm always ready to burn midnight oil when exams are near.

but he doesn't.
i don't even see him doing homework.(he always claims he does it in school)

also,he always thinks that mummy and daddy are biased.
I ALMOST WANTED TO SCREAM AT HIS FACE.
he gets almost everything he wants.
even daddy, who doesn't give us privileges, bought him a new mobile of HIS CHOICE.
please lahh!
my Hello Kitty mobile was bought on my own lorr.
it was after i bought it that mummy paid for half of the price.

he's the one who gets to buy basketball shoes that are worth more than $100 a pair.
he doesn't even think of the good that his parents gives him.
he only knows how to blame others.

he doesn't think about the fact that his sister, which is me, save up pocket money to buy my own things.
i don't ask extra from my parents ok.

putting these beside the point.
i really really can't stand it when he has no manners at all.
he always says that i provoke him first.
he doesn't think who's the one talking ok.
he always likes to call me names, saying i'm fat, that i have a big butt.
it's really irritating.
i mean,i'm his sister!!
aren't siblings supposed to be protective of each other?
he doesn't say it in a joking way ok.
he does it in a demeaning way, like he's making fun of you.
who wants others to do that??
especially when you're living with that person 24/7, you can choose but see him everyday.
it's even worse.
i tried to tell him properly and politely that i don't like it.
but he doesn't seem to understand.
seriously,what's the thrill you get by calling your sister names??
to think i was so loving of him when i was young.
i used to remember him waiting for me to return from school when i was in kindergarten.
he would then pester me to play with him.
i know those days are long gone,but can't he be more kind in terms of language and manners??
he really puts me off.

another things is that he's real lazy.
he doesn't take his own meals from the kitchen, he doesn't clear up his own plates and put it at the basin, and he doesn't even make an effort to put his own dirty clothes in the toilet for washing.
i'm not kidding when i say his clothes smell horrendous.
he has no personal hygiene to bathe immediately when he come home.
he can sit and lie around for a few hours and truthfully, i'm really afraid of the germs he'll bring back.
ok,i understand that he's a guy, so these are inevitable.
but can't he just take charge of his own life?
make an effort to talk nicely,behave politely and make more effort to be involved in home affairs?

it's been accumulated for so long.
he's inconsiderate.
he thinks that the world revolves around him and only him alone.
and now he's using the speakers on his desktop.
and it's so loud.
i told him to off it but he pretends that i don't exist.
i don't remember behaving like this when i was his age.
is it because i'm a girl?
i'm not trying to praise myself,but i think it's very important to be considerate of others.
why is he doing all these things?

ok,vented my frustrations.
i'm not trying to degrade him.
it's just my thoughts.
i really don't know what to do with him.
i just want to ignore him until he comes to his senses.
i've tried to talk to mummy about him, his attitudes and lack of manners.
in the end i get scolded.
because mummy says that i only know how to talk but i can't think of ways to tame him.
i mean, I'M NOT HIS MOTHER!!

yahh.
so this issue will not be resolved so easily.
i really wonder what he'll grow up to be.really.
T^T

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

bye 2010.

2010-12-31T23:23:00.002+08:00

about another half and hour and 2011 is arriving in Singapore.
GAHH.
lots and lots of things happened this year.
really really a lot.

i'm holding bright hopes for year 2011!
wish the coming year to be more smooth flowing and fun!

and yes,i'm happy to be able to spend the last day of 2010 in happiness.
hmmm.
currently waiting for MBC Gayo Daejun performances to be uploaded.
it's the best music show in my opinion.
i decided when i watched the first few performances.
what i liked was that ALL kpop artistes were present.
unlike other music shows where there were biases.
hehe.
there were also many remixes of the various hit kpop songs yeahh.
but 2010 in kpop was totally scary.
cause there was this sudden outburst of kpop groups.
not mentioning the hallyu wave flowing into Singapore so abruptly.

oh well.
just watched JYJ's FIRST and LAST broadcast Korean performance in 2010.

was heartbreaking to me.
i mean, why can't TVXQ! just come together as 5?
it's really saddening.
and to think they had to wait so long to be able to perform on Korean stage officially.
must have been stressful and relief for them.
wish TVXQ! and JYJ the best.
even though i want all 5 together.
^^

time for review of my New Year Resolutions last year.
here goes:
let's just keep it short and sweet and realistic this year.
hmmm...
i wanna:
Meet SHINee!!(they're coming to Singapore next year!!!YAYS!!)
Flatten my tummy!!
Eat and drink more yummy food and beverages!
Finish watching The Vampire Diaries!!(to get my fill of my vampire obsession~~~)
Modify and buy more dolls~~
Become happier and healthier~~
Make more new friends in new school~~~
Don't get out of control so easily!(my family suspects i have depression ahh!!><)
i think i accomplished about 6 of these few wishes.
surprise to me and totally so comforting!!
the first one was a total success!!
keke~

so yepp, here's my wishes for 2011.
i'm keeping it real short.

i want to meet TVXQ!(ALL FIVE YEPP!)
i want CSJH The Grace to release their new album
i want to have a smaller butt and flatter tummy
i want and need to be on task!
i want to save a lot a lot of money!
i want to go for family holiday!

ok,that's all.
wishing everyone a very early(actually not that early too...) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
<3 <3 <3
^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

guess i don't need so much friends.

2010-12-27T22:45:00.003+08:00

my friends on Facebook has been reduced to 86.
yes.
and i deleted the extra 14.
hehe.
realised i didn't need so much so called 'friends' to probe into my personal life.

i do admit i'm not social.
or at least,i'm very very social towards my friends.
but anti-social towards those i don't like and don't know.
don't get me wrong.
i'm not arrogant.
but,isn't it a known fact that not everyone on Earth can be your friend?
at least i think that way.
so yepp.
no point trying too hard.
i live my life,you live your life.
okay for me.
and i think you'll feel happy too.

sometimes it's also hard to delete.
cause you see that person in real life.
and even though you're not close,you have no choice but to be a 'friend' on Facebook.
so ironic.

and this,is the irony of urban life.
yepp.
maybe one day i'll choose to retire in the rural areas.
if i can find one in Singapore!!
HAHA!

hehe.
this is not directed towards anyone.
just thought about it.
hmmm...
sometimes i can be so insightful.
but sometimes i can be so childish and immature.
which is the real me??
hehe.
i'm not sure too.

what i'm waiting for now?
waiting for tears to come.
but they just don't arrive.

maybe when i get my period.
then they start falling and flowing like a broken tap.
or maybe like a long river.

you never know.
^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

disappointment.

2010-12-14T01:13:00.002+08:00

*sigh*
*sigh*
*sigh*

i didn't complete my Educational Psychology test paper.
sad.

that's why i always think it's important to be humble.
don't get too full of yourself cause you never know what will happen.
anyways it's over, so don't think so much about it.

i've been cracking my brains for my lesson plans!!
ok,so now i really really appreciate my teachers.
THANKS FOR ALL THE HARD WORK!

my teeth suddenly hurts.
GAHH.
hate it.
why do i have such weak teeth!!??
luckily i have a dental appointment at the end of this month.
hope i won't have to spend so much money!!
HAHA!

Wednesday there's Developmental Psychology paper.
3 chapters to study,hope i can cope.

so many project deadlines coming up!!
i'm so afraid i can't cope!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
need to work extra hard ahh.

time to sleep now.
my eyes are puffy.
it's getting blacker and blacker.

i still can't get over the fact that i spent the whole afternoon reading a novel.
even though i completed it i don't feel accomplished.
cause it doesn't help in school work!!
GAHH!T^T

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

time.

2010-12-12T00:21:00.002+08:00

yes,i'm taking time to write this.
don't know why too.
so stressed now.
next week(2 days later actually..) will be term test week.
totally unprepared.
and then assignments are also undone.
what's wrong with me?
i'm in such a mess.
my brain's bursting already.
GAHHHH.
i don't want to get lousy grades but it seems that i can't help it.
*sigh*

but at least school's fun yepp.
nothing beats fun.
so yeahh.
even though it's tough i'll carry on.

HWAITING everyone.
do your best and never give up.
^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

what a sticky situation.

2010-12-03T23:40:00.002+08:00

i think i can't do it eventually.
attain a 3.9 GPA.
GAHH!
my quizzes and assignments up till now are all in a mess.
i still don't know which subject i'm good at cause all my results are so unstable i feel my mood swinging around too.
*sigh*

what's wrong with me what's wrong with me!!??

i studied,but can't get the marks i want.
maybe i didn't study hard enough.
need to work so much so much more harder!!!!

one more thing.
my mouth gets so uncontrolled recently.
i say what i wanna say.
and i think it's bad.
cause i'll unconsciously hurt or irritate or disturb others.
so i guess i should just shut up and don't talk so much.

also, I MISS MY FRIENDS!!
friends,let's go out and play during the short break!!
one day will be fine ok!!(cause i also have a lot of assignments yahh)
don't make me feel like i don't really have a social life!!
please play with me ahh!!(cause i have no others to play with..-_-)

but anyways,work hard and charge all the way.
school's more important than play.
but play is a necessity!!
what crap am i talking i also don't know.

and i'm convinced i can't get slimmer.
GAHH.
sad life.
but anyways i feel happy.
hoho.
so yepp.
follow what the kids said.
'OH WELL.'

that's all.
^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

eating too much!!

2010-11-28T00:40:00.002+08:00

ate dinner with family just now.
GAHHHHHHHHHH!
ate too much!!
guess i'll gain so much more weight!!
anyways just try to live with it.
(haha.so lame horrr!!!)

have not accomplished anything this whole day.
AISHHH~
hope i can wake up my idea and buck up!!
i wanna get a higher GPA!
and i have a feeling it'll not be as easy as the first time cause the teachers are different.
*sigh*

have to try my very best then.

sometimes i feel like a failure.
but there's nothing i can do.
better start working hard!!
it's all for myself,not for anyone!!
kyl HWAITING!!!!

i think i have to act more maturely??
sometimes i myself think i'm too childish.
ODDOHGE!!
but it's my personality!!
AHHHHHHHH~~
let's take life as it goes.
there's nothing more we can do anyway.
try try try!!

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

aishh.

2010-11-25T21:22:00.003+08:00

feeling sad.
cause i did badly for my essay!
only got 11/20.

i expected better okay!!
maybe cause i think i put in quite a lot of effort for the essay...

while,life doesn't go the way you want it to be.
so just smile and carry on!!
indulging in self-pity will not help the situation at all!!
kyl HWAITING!!
you can do it,
and you will improve.
hehe~~
believe in yourself!!
let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

unbelievable!

2010-11-13T22:43:00.002+08:00

really really couldn't believe it!!
i dreamed of TVXQ! announcing their comeback just 2 nights ago!
totally stunned but happy.
and was so so excited and high to see them all five LIVE together on stage again!

but then,it was a dream.
but because of this dream i had,i'm going to hope on to that hope that they'll return.
yes,they'll come back as five.
always keep the faith.

also went to help out at the child care centre/kindergarten for consecutive two days.
was somehow a shock.
cause it's my first time at a real early childhood setting.
but was quite fun.
minus the fact that we reached home real late.
hope to participate in more activities like this in future!
HWAITING!!^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

cracking my brains.

2010-11-07T00:51:00.000+08:00

first assignment in school's up next week.
cracking my tiny brain for inspiration.
and i'm having a little problem with the essay template.
but i'll get through it.
need to relax a bit!!
GAHHH!!
got my drama fix just now.
but still not enough.
will continue doing work tomorrow again!!!
kyl!!
don't be so lazy anymore!!
ARRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
wish everyone have a good time in school.
mine's fine.
^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

1st week of school.

2010-10-31T21:56:00.003+08:00

1st week of school's ok.
as usual,i'm a loner.
but it's fine.
go to school myself,return home myself.

ehh..
i'm getting confused already.
by the amount of handbooks i'm supposed to have.
shouldn't have thrown my booklist away!!
ARGHHHH!

but anyways it's done,so think i'd better ask around tomorrow.

one thing is that French really makes my head go spinning!
i totally suck in it!
but yepp,i'll try my best!
hope i don't fail it by the end of the semester!!
and hope i make more friends!!

school's quite fun yahh...
just that i feel lonely sometimes.
hoho.
guess i'm strange.
and we re-started the angel mortal game!
so guess i have to start preparing snacks for my mortal.
HWAITING EVERYONE!
haha~

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

JYJ in Singapore FINALLY!!

2010-10-18T12:46:00.004+08:00

i met them i met them i met them!
after 5 years!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~

their performance was totally sensational.
beyond awesome.
totally unexpected!!

i'll not complain here,cause the thrill of meeting and watching their LIVE performance in person totally makes me so thrilled!

and i can't forget what Micky said.
he told us to 'ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH!'

i cried ahh~
when the showcase finally started and the intro video was shown.
started tearing and then i realised Shi Min was tearing too.
but when they appeared on stage i was screaming like there was no tomorrow.
and now i have a sore voice.
HEHE~

everything was worth it.
only that the organisers were super unprofessional.
but oh well,at least i got to see the boys.
hope next time round it'll be all five.
i'm still believing in five.

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

tomorrow.

2010-10-15T23:27:00.001+08:00

gonna meet Jaejoong,Junsu and Yoocheon for the very first time tomorrow!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
excited ahh!!
hope they're as good-looking as i know them from pictures!!(i feel so shallow all of a sudden...-__)

hehe.
getting excited.can't really sleep.
OH NO!
forgot to charge my camera!!
gotta do it tomorrow morning!!
i'd better remember!!

and so,hope JYJ's Showcase in Singapore will be a success!!
YAYS!!^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

pain.

2010-10-14T21:59:00.002+08:00

my fingers are hurting.
cause i crocheted for the past 2 days.
hoho.
need to buy more craft materials!
and once i start i can't stop!

i really need to do very very careful financial planning.
need to recoup all my savings.
so,BANK ACCOUNT,LET'S WORK HARD TOGETHER!!
kekeke!

i'll be very busy for the next 2 weekends!
going for JYJ Showcase and Kpop night concert!
Annie's B'DAY's coming up too!
and then schools re-opening!
GAHH!
never thought it'll be so fast.
but anyways all's well,except that i'm a little shaky in mood these few days.
and i know why.
HAHA!
it's a little hassle being a girl.
yepyep.

everyone enjoy your holidays!
and for those whose holidays have ended have fun in school!!
good luck to myself too.
^^

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

GAHH!

2010-10-02T22:54:00.003+08:00

can't contain my excitement!!

JYJ's coming to Singapore!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

i'm so gonna go!!
hopefully i can get tickets.
and after that i'm officially bankrupt.
GAHH!
need money ahh...

school's opening in about 2-3 weeks.
hoho.
better make the best out of my remaining holiday!!
and i just wanna say,The Vampire Diaries is making me crazyyyy!!

Katherine is such an irritating annoying manipulative bitch!!
hate her hate her!!

all that suspense is really ARRGGGHHH!!
but i'm gonna relax.
hehe.

today was picnic with besties.
fun fun fun but now i look like a red roasted lobster.
let's do this again next time!!
YAYS!\^^/

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

next time you see me,don't call me.

2010-09-29T13:11:00.002+08:00

i think there's no point.
don't call me when you see me.
since you already decided to trample on the trust i had in you.
i still remember what you did.
sometimes i think i'm a person who hates a lot.
and that may be because of you.
you were one of my first best friends.
but we're not now,and i think we'll never be again.

don't bother calling me,cause i will,as you wished,pretend that i never knew you.
even though there were sweet times we had together,whatever you did towards the end of our friendship totally made me give up on you.

so don't,i mean, never ever come towards me and call my name.
because it not only scares me,but also brings out that very small piece but existing hatred in my heart.

but i still wanna thank you,for being my friend right there in primary school.
i chose you and you chose me,but it all already ended.
i could see that you lived well,and that's enough.
i don't hope to be involved in your life anymore,so don't come and try to talk to me,because it has become so difficult that when i first saw you after so many years,i was on the brink of crying.
but i won't cry in front of you,simply because i wanna show you that i don't care too.
just like how you forgot what you did to me.

and finally,i can say goodbye to you and our once so precious friendship.
farewell.

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

bankrupt.T^T

2010-09-27T22:22:00.002+08:00

officially bankrupt i can say.
spent SGD$150 on 4 items.
GAHH!
我也是狠下心来才能那么做的啊!
have been wanting Cath Kidston for such a long time.
finally i ordered it.
burnt a big hole in my pockets.
AHH!
but what can i say!?
it's totally my style ahh!!
that's why i loved it so muchhhh!!
hope it'll be lovely and cute when i receive it!!
*praying hard*

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

scary!

2010-09-27T21:48:00.002+08:00

it's totally scary.
the atmosphere in my house can go from cheery to tensed in just seconds.
this time it's because of ah ma.
majority of my aunts do not want my ah ma to go for bone marrow check,but i personally think it's advisable to do so.
but even if we,as grandchildren think this way,when the adults say no we can't do anything.
just hope that they'll make the best decision.
ultimately,i'm against the decision of NOT going for bone marrow check,cause we totally don't know what's going on!
so it's better for tests ahh!
i've watched enough dramas to know risks ahh.
AISHH.
T^T

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

and then it happened...

2010-09-27T14:53:00.002+08:00

thought i would not feel anything.
because there was some kind of unsaid agreement,that we would not like each other.
but in the end,i almost cried.
ah ma was admitted into hospital yesterday afternoon.
the ambulance came,paramedics came,i was kind of scared.
she had been feeling unwell for about 2 weeks already,some kind of heart problems,almost thought she was gonna have a heart attack.
i would sometimes wonder,if one day,she really leaves this world,if i would feel sad.
i don't know.

but if there was one thing i regretted in my life,it was not having a good relationship with my grandma.
she's the only grandparent i've left,but i don't really feel any bond to her.
and it would be quite impossible for me to forget her covering the plastic bag over my head when i was just a baby.
luckily i didn't die.
even had a nightmare about that incident even though it passed so long ago.
this may seem funny but it was not a good experience at all.

people may ask,why i don't have a good relationship with my grandma.
my answer is because she doesn't like me too.
i think the root of the problem is her biased and unfair attitude.
but yepp,i've learnt to live with it.

i really don't understand why she wants to stay in my house when she doesn't like my family.
but yeahh,she's the senior so i'll give her due respect.
even though she likes to tell untrue stories to others,saying we don't care about her,that we bully her.
i believe that if you don't do anything wrong,then it's fine.
let the world talk away.

but anyways,i still hope she gets well soon.
because after all,she's my grandma.

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

i used to like....

2010-09-22T22:56:00.005+08:00

hmm...
this thought suddenly struck me.
things i used to like.

for one i can be sure of would be music.
when i was real young,i really liked listening to english songs..
Westlife,S Club 7,M2M blah blah were all my favourites.
then as i advanced into upper primary and lower secondary i was more into liking chinese songs.
and it was totally crazy!
and ever since secondary school it was kpop all the way.
and till now it's still kpop.
WOAAHH~

will list things i liked down now.
i used to like Girls' Generation.(from pre-debut till their first MV i was chasing like crazy!)
i used to like the Wondergirls.(watched almost all of their performances,even tried to learn their dance!)
i used to like Big Bang.(from Lies to Haruharu..)
i used to like Super Junior.(from their Show Me Your Love collaboration with TVXQ!!!)
i used to like Jang Geun Suk.(one of his first movie,DoReMi...)
i used to like Se7en.(listened to all of his earlier era songssss!!)
i used to like Jang Ri In.(chased her cause of Xiah Junsu....)
i used to like Lee Hyori.(liked her earlier dance songs..)
i used to like KARA.(right from their Break It! days...)
i used to like eating Portuguese egg tarts every Friday and Saturday.
i used to like mangoes,papayas and bananas so much i ate them everyday.
i used to like buying lots of fandom goods i'm still trying to figure out where i got all that money.
i used to like chatting on MSN with friends so very frequently.
i used to like being close to my friends and going out occasionally.
i used to like being anti-social.
i used to like walking no matter where the destination was.
i used to like wearing leggings.
i used to like read chinese novels.
i used to like fangirling.
i used to like my weekly TAF Club workouts.
i used to like visiting the library every Friday.

but now,as i'm older,i think i've changed.
a lot.
even though sometimes i don't realise.
but i always like to self-reflect.
there are things that can change.or some things that simply can't.
but this is life.so we'll have to make the best out of it!!
but i realised a very interesting fact.
i seem to start to liking something before others start liking.
and when i decided to stop liking that particular thing,others start liking it!
how strange!
keke..
i'm just bored,that's why i wrote this blog post...
hehe.
it's called a blog for a reason ahh!-_-

i let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

long time no see!

2010-09-12T23:23:00.003+08:00

been quite a while since i last updated.
wanted to post something(s) but ended up being too lazy or just simply forgot.

it's the holidays now so currently i'm being a k-drama fan lahh~~
watching dramas everyday,the lappie has become my best friend already!
wanna go out to shop for clothes and shoes and i so badly need to fix my teeth!!
GAHH!!
there suddenly seems to be so many things i need and want to buy!
but i have not estimated my budget ahh!!
GAHHHH!!
need to plan real carefully!!
cause i know i tend to overspend quite a lot!
T^T
wanna go out with friends but don't know when they're free as i'm still wondering if they're still having exams ahh!!
my life is spent guessing here and there.
but right now,the most important thing now is to take care of my pimple(s) problem.
TOTALLY IRRITATING!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
so gonna get the Roller ball produced by Garnier.
hope it works!
and not to forget,i need to start working on my dark circles problem soon!!
think i better get to sleep now!!
bye for now!
^^
let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

coincidence!!

2010-08-28T23:44:00.003+08:00

it was real funny.
decided to go to the library on Thursday to return books and borrow more..
was left with 2 more books to choose from so i decided to get some comic books to read.
went to the chinese comic section and saw a familiar person.
on a closer look i realised it was Lian Zifeng!!
hehe!!
it turned out she was there with Munirah and Wanning to study!!
(and sadly i don't have any exams...)
then Wanning walked pass us,so we all went back to the table.
so i just sat there and did random things.
(scribbling on paper,reading book blah blah...)
then we babbled a lot a lot.
a lot nonsense we talked,but was fun.
and then i realised i was a total genius!
cause i helped Munirah solve her A Maths differentiation question!!
HAHA!!
so i was contented for a long long timeeeeeeee!!

then for the next few days i did dumb things,but knitting was one i couldn't tackle
SUPER DIFFICULT!
GAHH!!
will try again!!
yesss~

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

AISHH.

2010-08-25T10:40:00.002+08:00

i'm really annoyed by myself.
no determination,no stamina.
-_-
did exercise for 2 days already.
today i only did it for 10 minutes.
T^T
ahh~~
cause my muscles are aching like shit ahh.
(sorry for the coarse language...)

not feeling well lorr..
body aching all over.
guess i'll rest then continue next week??
not easy at all.
guess i'll remain this size forever,otherwise i'll gain weight.
but won't slim down for sure.
life really doesn't go the way you want it to be!!
AHHH!
just hope my muscle aches will be alleviated!!
ahh..
T^T

let's face tomorrow with a brighter smile!HWAITING!!^^p

HWAITING!q^^p

sigh.

I always get reminded.

Contradiction.

attitude?

gonna get drowned up till my head!!

Why is it always me??

HAPPY BUT UNLUCKY!!

kpop in 2011.

New Year Resolution for 2012!!

Too much crap this week!!

4th December 2011, a day to remember.

Frustration!!

Oh well.-_-

Sian lahhhhhhhh!!

procrastination.

seriously?

SCHOOL TOMORROW!!

oh my gosh.

LAST WEEK OF HOLIDAYS!!

MONEY MATTERS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!

so is this a sign?

OKAY CAN YOU JUST HURRY!!??

cried so much today....T^T

THIS FEELING....

DENTAL!!

Storm & Stress!!??

saddening just to hear and see.

SCARY AHH!!

RESULTS!!

Let's SMURF it up!!

SHINee World Concert!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO!PLEASE DO NOT DISAPPEAR!!

ehh.

UNLUCKY DAY!!

HOLIDAYS!

he;s the one with the problem,NOT ME!

LAST DAT OF SCHOOL!!

disappointment.

i'm in deep trouble.

contentment.

PHEW!

just survived through another deadline!!

so lazy to do things.shall go sleep ahh...Freehand Drawing is ARGHHHHHH...i always can't seem to finish on time!!><

TIME IS TIGHT!

self-discipline!!

time to rant again!!

feel trapped.

not the first time already!!-__-

luckily i have my friends to cheer me up.

okay,i think i know why i can't finish work on time...

FUN DAY!and unfortunate too!!

it's easy to console someone but not yourself.

oh,sian!

ohoho.

if it's really the case,then i don't know what to think or do.

oh sian!

too much to absorb.20% for an 1 hour paper!GAHHHHH!!><okay,my common sense will save me!!hope i don't get nervous and forget everything tomorrow!!

i miss my friends!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

didn't see this coming yahh.

exciting!!

one lesson i learnt from The Vampire Diaires:ALWAYS HAVE A BACK-UP!!!!

first week ended!!

WAHHHHHH

so ahh....

so what now?

okay.

Quotes of the Century (Egg)~

Quotes of the Century (Egg)~:Reality Volume

Quotes of the Century (Egg)~:Drama Volume

what kind of person am i?

so....

recent thoughts...

it's study break now!but....

you got a problem with big tummy??

NEVER-ENDING!!

scared!

so hectic!

T^T

so lazy to do things.shall go sleep ahh...
Freehand Drawing is ARGHHHHHH...i always can't seem to finish on time!!><

too much to absorb.
20% for an 1 hour paper!GAHHHHH!!><
okay,my common sense will save me!!
hope i don't get nervous and forget everything tomorrow!!